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One Last Time

For the most part I have mastered the art of being comfortable in uncomfortable situations. But I remember first coming into Uni and it felt like I didn't belong there. There was no one that looked like me. I was in a class of 65 people and there was not one other black girl. I was the only one. I felt out of place, and I was remembering the countless times that I was told I would automatically get into Uni because of my race. It invalidated my acceptance into Uni. I started to doubt myself and my abilities. My subfreshman year I let the doubts get to me. I did not preform as academically well as I would have liked too. My grades were okay but definitely not what I was used to, and I knew I was capable of a lot more. I made sure that I applied myself in every subject, and my grades exponentially better each year. I got used to the situations when slaves were brought up in class and eyes looked at me, it became my new normal in Uni. Nothing bothered me anymore, therefore I foc
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Ultralight Beam

"Ultralight Beam" by Kanye West is probably my favorite song at the moment because it is a beautiful song but also illustrates my internal religious debate. "Ultralight Beam" is one of those songs I can countlessly listen to and not get tired of it, and if you have not listened to it you should. I'm (Baptist) Christian and grew up practicing the religion. Shortly after I was out of the womb I was practicing Christianity. My parents christened me when I was around a year old, admitting me into the christian church. I did not have a decision when I was young to accept the religion but as I grow older I now do, and I don't know what choice to make. In a verse the song states: "I'm trying to keep my faith But I'm looking for more Somewhere I can feel safe And end my holy war I'm tryna keep my faith So why send oppression not blessings? Why, oh, why'd you do me wrong? You persecute the weak Because it makes you fee
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What a Wonderful World

I am really not the type of person to go camping, but if there is an opportunity to miss school I would willingly sleep in a ditch. A lot happened on the camping trip; canoes flipping over, animal encounters, but worst of all a thunderstorm. I don't like thunderstorms even when I am in an architecturally strong building (my house), so knowing I was fabric away from being struck by lightening was not my cup of tea. We were not even allowed to stay in the tents, because of the metal rods going through them in order to hold them up. Instead we all had to run through the heavy rain in order to get to a rock over hang. It was the middle of the night and the any source of light that we had was from our tiny head lights (kind of like the things miners wear). It wasn't as scary as it could have been because I had all of my friends with me going through the same thing. I was still gripping onto my only source of light when the camp leader came up to me and asked to use it, out loud I
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Stressed Out

I used to deal with stress all the time. I was a competitive gymnast for over eight years. I was constantly under stress from competitions as well as the school work that I had to do in unison. Once I quit gymnastics I realized that I got less stressed, kind of. I feel as if I now don't acknowledge the stress that I am under and instead go to unhealthy comping mechanisms. Say I have a test tomorrow and I have that gut wrenching feeling because I know nothing, haven't studied, and don't have enough time to study (we've all been here don't lie). I'll stop what I am doing and just watch YouTube or Netflix to calm down. Not saying that I do this all the time but I notice that I do it more often than not. I naturally push towards videos because it gets me out of my head. When I am watching other people they are bringing me into their lives, therefore I don't have to worry about mine. This mechanism cause more stress in the long run. After I have calmed down I
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Radioactive

I think protest are a great way to increase the visibility of an issue that we are facing. For example the 4/20 Walk Out was a great way for young people to show adults we are no longer staying silent when our safety is threatened. The Climate Strike was the same idea. There are many people who didn't go to the climate strike because they don't see the reason or do see how a strike would will help. Honestly, I understand this outlook but it's better to do something than nothing at all, in my opinion. Showing solidarity for an issue can say a lot about how prevalent it truly is, and increase pressure on those in more powerful positions to do something. The strike was empowering and inspiring. Uni, University of Illinois, and CMS (Campus Middle School) students came together to raise awarness about climate change. I can't tell you specifically what the local movement changed but I will tell you its goals: 1) Raise public awareness of the issue 2) Have the univers
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Say My Name, Say My Name

I guess I should introduce myself since this blog is all about my name and you might not even know it.  I’m Samaia (suh-my-yah if that helps), I'm a Senior and honestly my writing skills are not the best (so hopefully this blog gets better over time). I have always appreciated my name, I couldn't imagine having a different one. In my family we all have names that start with an S except for my dad. Sammer (mom), Silas (twin brother), Sidney (younger sister), and Douglas (dad). I have always compared my name to my siblings and mine is the easiest to misspell and hardest to pronounce. People I have known for several years still misspell my name. I have meet only a few "suh-my-yah's", and I have never meet someone who has the same spelling. I remember being assigned to sit next to a girl on the bus with my name, I was so shocked and thought it was such a rare coincidence. I love my middle name and the story that goes along with it, Milan (my first name doesn't
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